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Jackie
ooo cool effects. I like the drawings and the way you focus the viewer through composition and framing. How fun! Good luck on finishing! I can''t wait to see the rest!
Aug 24, 2022, 6:03 PM
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Ariana
Hi Mariana! I love the way your images move <3 They are super fluid, perfect for a mermaid story, and flow well from act to act. Your sound effects are also super cool! The bubbling of the classroom and the disco/dancing sounds. Also, the ending is super surprising and wants me to learn more. Keep going!
Aug 23, 2022, 4:30 AM
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Maggie
HI Mariana! I'm rooting for you to meet the deadline, I'm racing against the clock myself! I know you can do it! I love your use of color in this and the overall body of work you made this summer, I think the sudden use of pink in that final clip is so eerie and ominous. Looking forward to the final cut, I hope you'll let us know in the discord when its up!
Aug 23, 2022, 2:55 AM
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Brandon
The visuals compliment the story you're trying to tell quite well - you're a very skilled artist. I particularly enjoyed your usage of highlights and shadowing for a lot of your shots.
I would feel weird judging your project here since it's not quite finished yet, but I would like to say that this portion of the story seems to be a really good lead up to Act 2. You were able to establish the world the story is set in as well as who your character is; you also potentially included the first point of conflict and inciting action that builds into the next Act.
Nice work!
Aug 22, 2022, 9:15 PM
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Lauren
Hi Mariana,
I really like what you've done so far. I definitely feel sorry for your may character. I like how you've differentiated her from the other merpeople in her design. Is it an all-girls school? Is the mermaid being stalked in the school? It looks a lot like an apartment black corridor, is that correct? Perhaps change the transition to the hallway so that it's clear that it is a new scene?
I really like how you've captured a magical experience with the lighting, and sparkle effect and how you added the menacing pop of colour there at the end. Very dramatic. I also like your use of perspective, fore- and background, and angles.
I hope you manage to complete it by the 25th. I'd love to see where your story is going.
As a note: Welcome is spelled incorrectly on the posters. :)
Aug 22, 2022, 12:38 PM
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Allen
Hey Mariana,
I know this is the final submission for the class, but I still want to provide a bit of feedback in case you decide to continue to work on the project beyond this course (or in the last few days, like you mention). Hopefully the notes are helpful, but as always, feel free to ignore any that don't match your vision. And most importantly, congratulations on finishing your storyreel!
I still love your art style. It's so adorable!
I love that you are doing the narration from the protagonist's perspective. I think that's a much more interesting approach than just having a omniscient narrator.
I know voice work is hard and time-consuming, but it would make it a little easier to follow the story if the mermaids had different voices.
This is a great start and I hope to see the full version before the final day!
Aug 21, 2022, 10:59 PM
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Spencer
I like the your illustration style and art direction. I think the camera angles and focal points are effective to show the overall story.
Aug 21, 2022, 7:48 PM
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Ben
I like your character design. You have great use of light and dark and simple animation to call attention to what’s important!
Good splash of color at the end!
I understood that it was a girl at a mermaid school, who was a little different. I didn’t understand much else.
Consider adding caption text to your video. It was hard for me to follow the story because I couldn’t quite understand what the characters were saying.
Aug 21, 2022, 3:02 PM
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Julieta
Hi Mariana! I like the changes you’ve made in your story so far. I think the story works much better now using dialogue, we can understand how bad and alone Freja feels.
I love your art as well as the music you have chosen. I see that in this version you have included a shot where Freja tries to be friends with Atzin which I really appreciate, since in your previous version it was a little unclear to me how Atzin decided to ask Freja for help. I really like what I’ve seen so far, there are no unclear things in this submission for me!
I guess that you’re working on the rest of the story now, so let me know if you need any help! I’m looking forward to see how the story ends!
Aug 21, 2022, 10:24 AM
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Habiba
Really great visuals and potentials! I love how you introduced the character to the movie, kinda replayed it cause I wanted to know what going to happen!! Great job you can do it!
Aug 21, 2022, 4:09 AM
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Bernabe
Me quede picado jaja.
I would like to see it complete to give a better opinion but what we could see I liked a lot.
Great job.
Aug 20, 2022, 9:21 PM
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Büşra
Hi Mariana,
Omg! Your artwork, music, sounds and editing is wonderful. I was like watching a final animation and i was really excited at the end of the video. So keep going i am wondering about what will happen at the end :) congratulations, well done :)
Aug 20, 2022, 3:07 PM
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Ferdinand
Hi Mariana, great story and also great artwork!
I don't have any improvements for you, but I wish the best of luck with finishing you story, I'm sure it will turn out great!
Aug 17, 2022, 4:12 PM
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Hello everyone! I have concluded that I might not finish the whole short in time for the 20th so I'm aiming for the 25th date. However, I wanted to share my progress on the final version of this story without narration. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think about it and I'll try to do as much as I can for the final delivery.
This is where the special thanks would go! I’m assuming they will be a little longer this week, therefore, I designed extra space for them. If there is far more description and special thanks then there is space, this entire box becomes scrollable.
Special Thanks:
Team:
Mariana Acosta
Mariana
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