Wow!! I got chills just watching this. All I have to say is that this way amazing!!!! (now imagine people clapping in the background)

I imagined reasonable applause- I’m truly humbled.

Hi Kyle, I'm happy to see your final submission!

I see many improvements compared to your last submission. I really like the way you have developed the relationship between Olivia and Death, that dialogue they have is really intense.
Almost all the stories I've seen on the program are about happy themes and have more or less satisfying endings for the protagonists. Your story stands out among all of them since you decide to explore the darkest feelings of the human being and you have a catastrophic end to your character. Somehow, you manage to do this so masterfully that I can't imagine any other possible ending to your story.

It's an excellent job, my congratulations to the voice actors, I think they make a difference! I hope you have enjoyed and learned from this program as much as I have. Congratulations on finishing the Xperiential program!

I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Submitting Act 3 was tough for me cause it was 100% not where I knew it was going- I spent a lot of the time I should have spent on the Act 3 submission writing the script- so I had hoped the final would be a big leap forward.

I’m very proud of the ending, I think it’s a tough one but and important one, and I’m glad that message is coming across in the final work.

Hey Kyle,

You might remember I'm the person who didn't love your third act last time around and you told me that "hopefully the final might change [my] perspective, but odds are it won't." You gave my feedback a full and fair reading and responded extremely respectfully toward it, so when I saw your final submission, I felt it was only fair that I gave this another chance.

I'm so glad I did.

One of the things I suggested was that you could, "Perhaps keep things in the perspective of the reaper and explore the idea that he's caught between wanting to save someone he loves and knowing that her suicide attempts are the only thing keeping them connected. To save her is to lose her forever. I think there is a story there that can end with a bit of hope without feeling saccharine." I'm truly not trying to suggest my comment influenced any of your decisions for the direction in this final submission, but rather, I think you actually had a clear vision that I just wasn't seeing yet in your work-in-progress.

This final version does keep things more or less in the perspective of death and focusing on his sorrow in the end, while not hopeful in a traditional sense, is the moment where we see the harm of suicide and the guilt and desire from loved ones to have done more. That's the more proactive message that I was sort of hoping for where I felt the last submission focused in on the act of suicide itself, if that makes sense (I'm not exactly sure how to articulate it). I didn't come away from this one feeling hopeless or like suicide is a viable (or singular) option out like I did with the previous (even if that might not have been everyone's interpretation), but rather felt contemplative about her struggles and the effects on the people that cared about her.

The ending was certainly tragic, but it was beautiful and moving in a way that makes you hope the next time someone is struggling with something like this that we might be able to do that little bit more or at least be willing to try, even if we can't always beat something as terrible as depression and suicidal ideation.

I don't know quite how to express how grateful I am that you stuck to your vision and that I got a chance to see it completed. It was beautiful in every sense of the word. The art is stunningly macabre and the character design is brilliant. The humor injected into this dark situation helps lighten things just enough to provide contrast to the darkest moments. The story is tragic but in a way that creates empathy and understanding without shame and judgement or glorification on the opposite end.

This moved me beyond any other piece I've seen in this class. So thank you for seeing your vision through. You should be so incredibly proud of this.

Im incredibly impressed with the fact that you are willing to admit that you changed your perspective. So many people get an opinion, and dig their heels in and refuse to give artists and creators another chance to prove themselves, so Im incredibly thankful you got to see the final work. I’m honored that so much of the message was able to come through, and am so glad the piece spoke to you and moved you.

Your response obviously took a lot of time, and I truly appreciate the support and feedback. Thank you so much, this really means a lot to me.

-KG

Great job I really see the hard work put in the idea drawings and voice over with music got me into the movie! I remember the idea from the what ifs and happy to see how it all came out! Great job and salute to the moral

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

hi KG!
Glad to see your story in full, I've been looking forward - very curious how things work out in the end :)

The beginning sentence, followed by thoughts on Halloween 2, is great! It's precise, trimmed down to exactly what it needs to be, and it's incredibly, relatably human. (That's true for most, if not all, of your text)
Your first artwork showing Olivia is precisely that, artwork, and a nice combination of drawing and floating leafs.

"stopped many of them" gets me wondering if it's just chance that stops her occasionally or someone else.
The "cursed" interrupting Death is utterly horrible and incredibly strong storytelling.
The comedic "no you can't" response to 'i can see you' is not only nice, but probably very necessary to uplift the story a bit out of the intense atmosphere. (very heavy visuals and sound effects, for example, so the casual tone is a nice counterweight)
I'm just wondering if she's not afraid because she's been living up to it for so long.
Minor thing is that the tone and visuals are less consistent in style during their interaction. Her art is nice, but the juxtaposition with him gives a risk of pushing his visuals from the scary into the unintentioned funny. Similarly, the tone of voice in "what.. me? no.." is slightly off/out of balance with his other "i'm caught in the act" sentences, which might distract a little.
The "because your hour of death must be at hand", followed by a second's pause, is very interesting, I'm curious about both of them. Also cool piece of information that she'd be entirely lost if she offed herself; that's a concrete way of upping the stakes.
I like how she sees the doctors in him, and what he then confesses.

His somber tone of looking back is nice.
Her calling him an asshole is funny.
Has Death left an impression on her, that she's saying "now I'm feeling.."?
The implications of "she tries to go by touching him but actually stops him from saving her which causes her to actually commit suicide", which I remember from your previous submissions, isn't evident - but that's not bad at all, because the tension of the scene and their desires ís very clear.

Your story's morale of what is lost when you go and even Death, only if it's just Death, mourning that intensely is very good, and your execution is, too. Death's guilt sounds very relatable to actual human's.

First off, thanks for taking the time for such an in depth comment. It makes me happy to see that many of the tones, themes, and directing choices I made are coming across as intended and clearly.

I'm mostly glad to hear some of the comedic moments hit. It's obviously such a hard topic to sneak any humor into that I was worried the morbidity could overpower the humor.

"The death of a beautiful woman is, unquestionably, the most poetical topic in the world" - Poe

I really liked that the voice of the narrator is death.
Dude I liked the dialogues a lot too.
Very sad ending.

Thanks!

I agree, it's a sad ending. I'm glad that emotion shined through the work though.