Hi Lau, great work on your submission. I really like the visuals and the use of the SFX and music to enhance your storytelling. I was left wanting more which in my humble opinion is the sign of a great short story. But this one felt a little too short. If you doubled the runtime I think there's a lot more potential you can tap into here. Best of luck!

Hi, Lau! what a beautiful story, really love the initial drama and the sutile transition to the nostalgica and lovely ending, the narrative and visals are very clear and the music accompanies the story perfectly, congratulations!

Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed this story!!!

This is really good!! Story, composition, transitions, colors, drawings and music! And enjoyed watching it! Great jobb! Wishing you all the best!

Habiba thank you so much, it really means a lot to hear your kind feedback!

Wow, I got chills just watching. This was a very interesting story for me filled with mixed emotion. Great Job!

Rebecca, thank you so much. It felt like a personal story to me, the real woman who inspired the urban legend and my story went through a lot, and i wanted to create something positive for her story (instead of more scary narratives)

Amazing reel! I love how the simplicity of the plot lets the characters speak for themselves. Your use of color is super effective and sets the tone of different scene perfectly! I can't wait to see the finished product!

Thank you so much, having the past and the present merge proved a difficult task and using different color palettes allowed for the time hop without explaining the actual dates with text or voice

Let me just say this was such an awesome story. So much was felt and told through the animation. Although this was such a short animation, as an audience member, I felt like you get to really know the main character and the care taker. Her view point of being a ghost is very sweet in that she has found things to bring her some joy. The ending was also good. It gave the audience closure with the story.. I really loved it! :)

Thank you, Birdie! I wanted to make the plot a bit more complex initially but time constraints forced me to just find an achievable middle ground for the ending - satisfactory and emotional still. Would love to develop it further and create an arc that grows a bit more before the resolution

I am so glad I got to view this submission. Wonderful artistry, sound effects, and I love that you recorded actual voices!

I genuinely care for Clara, and am excited for her to have learned how to play the piano. Also... Maybe now she has a friend... Or a romantic partner? Or just one of many piano students to come?

I smiled while watching this and was sad when the video ended. I look forward to seeing more!

Jen!! thank you soooo much! it was definitely a joy to bring this story into life, specially because Clara was a real person who endured a lot, and I had this idea to bring her scary urban legend into a heart-warming tale.
Really wanted to make it longer, and more complex, but the past month was full of events and I had to take the "editorial" path and do what I knew could be developed :)
Thank you!

Visual Storytelling:
The use of color in the story reel is effective. The brown and sepia tones evoke a nostalgic feel, which is needed to explain the ghost's past before her imprisonment. The blue tones reflects the ghost's current state, while the colors can also indicate the sadness that the ghost felt as a result of her imprisonment. The keyhole provides an excellent element. Using a keyhole shape to frame around the ghost symbolically shows the imprisonment, while the keyhole itself would let viewers know that a locked door is involved.

Character Development:
Despite the times that the ghost is trapped in the museum, the ghost has found hope. The ghost mentions that "eternity has its perks", as the ghost has taught herself how to play the piano. Even through one's darkest and difficult times, the ghost's endeavoring optimism is an inspiring nature that one does not have to emotionally feel imprisoned.

Story Structure:
The audio/sound elements helps move and clarify the story.
The ominous/threatening sounds would foreshadow the ghost's impending imprisonment, as well as the typical haunting sounds that would be associated with ghosts. Despite the scary tension, the piano music would reflect the ghost's happiness, since the ghost always wanted to learn to play the piano. Additionally, the ghost does befriend the janitor as she teaches the janitor how to play the piano. The narration spoken in first-person (using the pronouns "I" / referring to oneself), lets audiences know that it is the ghost herself narrating.

Final Thoughts:
I had greatly enjoyed watching and critiquing the progression of "The Ghost of the Blanes Museum". To honor your country through storyboarding is truly unique since the story would let other people around the globe be aware, and even can inspire others to learn about the culture. Thank you very much for sharing this story, and congratulations on completing the program.

Winston! Wow thank you for the detailed feedback, so honored to know you enjoyed it so much. It was truly a work of love and I'm very harsh while critiquing my own work (wanted to have more time but family and work events made it impossible).

So lovely to hear you got the feelings that the story reel wanted to highlight. You can find the exact museum on Google and more about Clara (the painting of her was done when she was a kid and greatly influenced my visuals of her).

The perspective work here with every scene was super impressive and stood out to me a lot. I've always loved when stories utilize a ghost's perspective and it was done very well here, every step of the story was very easy to follow and I love that. This is great!

Thank you Tori, that means a lot! I was really pushing myself to change perspective as much as possible to explore the museum in both time periods.

Really appreciate the fact you understood the story and were able to follow along !

Hello,

Wow, I love the way finished your reel and how the final story developed. Starting it with the backstory helps guide the viewer through Clara's story. Also the quote" how much time do you have to be in a place to be apart of it", it was such a great line! I really felt that! Nice job!

Owww thank you! It was really hard to narrate while keeping it "loose" enough to not say everything on screen. So glad it translated, and informed her turning-into-ghost transition

Thank you!

I especially liked the very melancholy and sad beginning.
It seems to me that the third act ends and it happens very quickly.
Very nice job.

Thank you very much, you are 100% right about the third act. It was a packed month and I felt the urge to pare back the third act - and as I simplified it into something that could be followed without narration it ended up a few scenes short

I really liked this unusual twist on a ghost story! It's very touching and the ending is unexpected but satisfying.

Thank you Nikita! Makes me so happy you liked the unusual perspective, it was all about making her the center of the story

Congratulations on finishing your story! Your art and choice of music goes so beautifully together. I also love the fact that Clara is the one telling her story so we can empathize with her more even as a ghost. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. Keep up the great work! :)

Thank you Anna Maria, really needed to follow along her point of view to experience the whole timeline of her life/ghost life
So glad you enjoyed it!

Hi! First of all, congratulations on finishing the Xperiential program!

I love your art as well as the music, which is very sad and makes me empathise with Clara. I like that you start your story with a shot of the present time and you immediately go back to the past, where we get to know how that museum turned out to be enchanted. I also like that the story is told by the ghost herself instead of a third person.

I have a question about how Clara becomes a ghost. Is she locked up by her own husband and dies in that room? Apart from this, I think that the majority of your story is very clear, but I’m not sure if I understand the moral of the story, what does Clara learns by the end of the third act?

Good job!

Hi Julieta, thank you for the kind comments! The story goes off an urban legend, so i tried to contextualize it as much possible with the before and after of the museum, etc.

It was important for me to include the gist of the backstory without going too deep into the actual facts since it would have taken the story in a different direction. She was locked by her husband and remained in the attic for years, until she passed (this is part of my story as well as her true bio, since the person I'm basing this off was real)

I had envisioned a more complicated third act, but my family life and job in the past weeks made it impossible for me to finalize that - so I went with a simpler outcome. She gains an unexpected friend after a century alone, living like an outcast while she was alive and then when she turns into a ghost.

Hi Laura! Thanks for taking the time to reply to my comments :)

I know how difficult it can be to balance work and personal life while dedicating enough time to develop your story. Even though you couldn't do everything you wanted, I want to congratulate you for the good job you've done! If you ever continue with this story or any other, don't hesitate to contact me if you need feedback!

Yes it truly is a balancing act and we have to act as editors, storytellers, etc so it needs the time to marinate too!
Of course, same to you !

This is such a beautiful story, I love the very beginning transition that starts us present day to then the beginning of the main character’s story. I am curious as to why her partner was so mean, but I think you do a great job displaying the conflict with emotion. The story is thoroughly thought out, and ends so lovely with her making a connection with her love of the piano with another person. Good luck with the rest of your creative journey.
Paige

Thank you Paige, makes me so happy you enjoyed the ending. I had envisioned the same outcome but with more steps to form connection (wasn't able to develop it all due to work and family happenings).

This story is based off a real person, she was married off as a teen (14) with a 30 something man with money. She wanted to live in a way that was not perceived well in the 1800s and was considered a libertine. Didn't want to go that deep into the facts because it would have taken the story in a different direction - my main goal was to show how she wasn't just casually in the attic but was actually forced to be there