Hey Terry, this is such a great piece. Your story feels like the warmth of a nice and cozy bed in a cold rainy night. The storytelling and the music was really well put together and did justice to your work. I was smiling as I immense in the story and parts of me definitely resonates with the main character as well. Lastly, congratulations on finishing the program, excellent work :)))

Hi Aishah
These words are very nice, thank you a lot :) (that description of warmth and rainy night, too!)
Glad you liked it :) Congratulations to you, too!

Hi Terry! I am very happy to see your final piece!

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to comment on one of your submissions, and I really like seeing the progress you've made since then!
From the first time I saw it, I found it to be a very moving story, and reading that it is a personal experience, I can imagine how exciting it must have been for you to develop this project. Thank you very much for sharing this with us, it never ceases to amaze me the people who turn their bad moments into something as beautiful as this.

I hope you enjoyed and learned as much as I did, congratulations on finishing the Xperiential program! :)

hi Julieta
I'm also very happy to see your comment again :)
It's interesting, how such a personal experience can reshape itself into something valuable for others as well. I'm grateful for your words :)
Congratulations and all the best to you, too!

Hey Terry, congratulations on finishing your storyreel! It great to see it with all of the images in place. You've done a great job clearing up some of the questions I was left with in the previous version. And I really like how you condensed the ending. So glad I got to watch this final version!

Hi Allen
I'm not really sure what to say, but your comment is brightening my day :) I'm glad you (re)watched it and were able to enjoy

Hi Bunderson, I think your storyboards work well to show the overall story direction. The thumbnails and notebook pages are interesting since they kind of show an outward progression of storytelling from the actual process of meeting with the "counselor" until the breaking point. The character kind of makes peace with her own situation by letting go fo some of the sadness of her father passing and realizing that he will always be there in her memories.

Hi Spencer
Thanks for you feedback :)
I'm very glad you're seeing that outward progression (which was incidental at first, but I happily leaned into it)

WOW!! Absolutely fantastic! I love this story so much and you’ve done quite an exceptional job at being able to communicate an emotionally heavy story WITHOUT any voice acting. So BRAVO TO YOU for doing a tremendous job at conveying your story. It was a little unclear what has happening at the beginning, right as you went into the first flashback of how the camera was broken. BUT!! Once, I figured out how you were pacing the story and using the Principal as the story touch point, it was crystal clear. I really enjoyed the pacing of your story as well, I think the way we discover who your character is and how much depth she has is very impressive. I love that this is a story about dealing with grief, and that it’s NOT something super cute or action packed. It’s a very serious story that is told very gently. You’ve done a fantastic job, and I hope we get to see more of your stories in the future. Well done.

Hi Alex
Thank you immensely for your enthusiasm and feedback :D
I'm glad there's also (interest in) more emotionally laden stories (also the others, have you seen for example the one by Nina or the Death and Olivia?)
I actually wanted to do voice acting, but there's definitely benefit for having none :)
I'm glad the Principal story touch point made sense to you.

Actually, I'm doubting whether or not to already do the next session, or jump in again for the next after that and do some storytelling on my own even though there's no community sense then ^^

Hi Terry! I can understand the reluctance to taking another session, and I think the thing to consider is "what would be your goals in taking the course again?" I had wrestled with whether or not I'd want to take the course again, and I have a hard time saying yes. Simply because I think I'd want to have a direct connection with the reviewer. Not only on how to improve the story that I'm trying to create, but also thinking about shot structure and answering questions about how the writing and the story are fine if only made clearer with better shot structure. I also think that if I did decide to continue to explore and pursue my story, that I don't necessarily need the structure of this course to help me to do so. I'd also worry that we'd be hearing the same lessons from the same speakers that presented. Not that they weren't fantastic to listen to and hear their advice, but rather...what else can I learn from people with such a unique perspective?

I stand by my assessment of your video. I think you've got a great story and I think it is full of heart and plenty of soul. I do hope you continue to explore your ideas and keep bringing them to life. If you ever want to stay in touch or looking for another pair of eyes on your story, feel free to connect with me on Discord. @corspufo

Cheers to you!

First of all, the music fits the mood perfectly.

I think it’s a story about a girl with a camera, who is getting in trouble at school. And her father has died. And she eventually is happy with her mother. But it was difficult for me to follow.

I liked when the character’s dialogue was shown, because then I could follow the scene better.

… But inconsistent caption formatting pulled me out of the story. Top, bottom, animated, or not animated. Should pick one.

Using photos of your hand-drawn work is fine, but some of them were out of focus or had poor lighting. Maybe take all of your photos under some good lights in the same place at the same time and re-assemble it?

Title on the page credits “Elizabeth Everdeen”
But video says “by Terry van Bunder"

I didn’t completely follow the story, but I got the mood perfectly. So, good job on that!

Hi Ben,

Thanks again for your feedback, a while back now :)
I'm very glad you can understand the mood! I understand your other comments.
A few clarifications: the inconsistent captions are partly to show who's talking. Elizabeth is my character's name, my name is Terry